


Couples Counselling

by virgo_writer



Category: The Newsroom (US TV)
Genre: F/M, Therapy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-25
Updated: 2013-08-25
Packaged: 2017-12-24 16:01:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/941857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/virgo_writer/pseuds/virgo_writer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Because sometimes the only way to work through something is together.  Will/Mac</p>
            </blockquote>





	Couples Counselling

**Session One**

 

_July 2012_

Mackenzie didn’t really understand what she was doing there.  It was her and Will sitting on opposite ends of a couch while a _very_ young looking psychiatrist explained the ‘rules’ of couples therapy.

“But we’re not even a couple,” she said, not for first time that day as Doctor Habib (the really young Doctor Habib, not the one she remembered Will seeing back when they were together) made promises about patient confidentiality. 

“I use the term only in the numerical sense,” Doctor Habib assured her.  “As in, there are two of you.  Ergo, couple.”  His tone was bright as he pointed to them – one and two – but there was something about his smile that told her he meant the word in every sense. 

“The two of you have a partnership,” he continued, words soothing and placating.  “But I think you need some external help to solidify that partnership.  Make it something lasting.”

Will scoffed as Mackenzie held her breath to stop herself from doing the same.  Partnership was no better a word than couple.  ‘Partnership’ was the same word that the government were using to pacify the LBT (badly, mind you) – coupledom, only in a lesser, non-hetero sense.  She’d almost prefer that he use couple rather than be left with the connotations of partnership.

“As I was saying,” Doctor Habib said, returning to his ground rules.  “Will’s sessions are separate from these joint sessions.  Anything you talk about there,” he said, talking specifically to Will, “is private and won’t be mentioned unless you give explicit permission or bring up the subject yourself.”

“What if you know I’m lying?” Will asked, because he was Will and he had to press.  Honesty was part of the ground rules – a call for brutal honesty, even where the truth might hurt.

“Then I would be obliged to correct you,” Doctor answered with a casual shrug. 

“Are there any questions?” he asked, glancing between the two of them.  Looking first to Mackenzie, and then Will, and back to her.  There weren’t any.  Not after they’d spent the last twenty minutes interrupting him every few words to address some point or another.

“Good,” Doctor Habib said, reclining back in his chair with a satisfied smile.  He didn’t say anything more than that, and neither of them volunteered anything in response.  He didn’t even look particularly impatient, just sitting back, a notebook and pen in his lap and his writing hand hanging over the armrest.

Mackenzie cracked first.  “What do you want us to talk about?” she questioned, waiting for his direction.

Doctor Habib shrugged, again a casual sort of nonchalance that was starting to become a little unsettling in the psychotherapist.  “Whatever you’d like to talk about,” he answered.  “Why don’t you tell me about work?”

She caught sight of Will rolling his eyes, so obviously there was something in that she hadn’t picked up on.  Work seemed like an innocuous enough subject.  It had been good lately, they’d settled themselves into a routine many months ago and right now they were doing exactly what they’d set out to at the start of NewsNight 2.0.  Doing The News, and doing it well.

“We’re trying not to cover the Olympics, right now,” she answered after a moment to think about what she could mention.  “Or at least, no more than we would cover any other sporting event.”

“That must be hurting your ratings,” Doctor Habib replied gently. 

She shrugged.  They’d expected a dip in ratings, given that CNN had exclusive coverage.  The actual ratings drop had been less than anticipated, perhaps due to small sections of the population already sick of all things Olympics only a few days in.

Will had obviously spoken of that sort of thing before and what sort of hit they’d taken in the past for not covering popular news.  The ratings didn’t really affect her the way they did Will.  It wasn’t why she was making this show and she had no intention of apologizing for telling the people the news they needed to hear instead of the news they wanted to hear.

Doctor Habib just nodded, shifting slightly in his seat.

“I’d like to talk about Brian,” Will announced, going straight for the jugular.  It was the sort of thing that, having known Will a long as she had, she really should have seen coming.

Doctor Habib tsked.  “Will, we talked about this,” he said gently, a slight note of warning to his voice.

“I’ve decided to disagree with you,” Will told him unapologetically.  “So let’s talk about Brian.”

The doctor sighed and shook his head, and Mackenzie supposed that he was probably used to Will’s particular brand of bullheadedness. 

 _‘You think this is bad, try having to deal with him when he’s sick,’_ she thought to herself.  Except that she ended up saying it aloud, because if Will was going to bring up the whole horrible mess with Brian right off the bat, then she was allowed to make fun of the big baby he became whenever he got a cold.

“In fact, let’s talk about that instead,” she said loudly – more loudly than she’d intended.  “About how he made me find him _children’s_ vitamins with little lions on them because he thought he had the flu.”

Doctor Habib looked intrigue, sitting up in his chair and making a quick note in his pages.  “Is there a reason you don’t want to talk about Brian Brenner, Mackenzie?” he asked in that gentle, unassuming way that most psychologists or psychiatrists had.

Mackenzie gave him a dry look.  “Are we really going to pretend like you don’t know the answer to that?” she asked snarkily.  “Of course I don’t want to talk about it and I’m sure you’ve heard enough of that story from Will to know why.”

“All the same, I think I’d like to hear it form you,” the doctor shrugged.  “If you don’t mind, I’d like to start with your relationship before you met Will.”

Of course she minded, but it wasn’t like she could argue.  This was always where these sessions were going – it was always going to be about Brian and her cheating on Will with a man so unworthy of him there was no comparison.  At least Doctor Habib was starting at the beginning, saving the worst part for later.

“What did you want to know, Doctor Habib?”

“He goes by Jack,” Will corrected.

Again Doctor Habib shrugged.  “I go by whatever you feel comfortable with,” he said.  “For you, Will, it’s Jack, because it makes you feel better to use a diminutive name.  Mackenzie, I think, prefers to maintain a professional distance.  Thus, Doctor Habib.”

Will eyed him sceptically.  “Are you really going to have us call you two different things in these sessions?” he asked.

“You could call me Doctor Habib,” the doctor offered unhelpfully.  He smiled and then turned his attention back to Mackenzie, answering her earlier question.  “How long were you and Brian together?”

The specification – the first time – was implied and didn’t need to be said aloud.  “We dated on and off for about . . . four and a half years,” she answered, shifting in her seat.  For some reason it made her uncomfortable.  Perhaps she was anticipating Doctor Habib’s judgment, the inevitable question of why she’d stayed with Brian for so long.

Their relationship had never been the best.  It wasn’t like Brian was a bad guy, per se, but they weren’t good together.  In four and a half years they’d broken up and gotten back together so many times that by the end it half seemed like they were only together out of habit.  They were too competitive, too selfish, too caught up in their own lives to actually work as a couple. 

And then there was Will, who despite all appearances, just gave and gave, and worked with her instead of against her.  And she threw it all away for a guy who’d always brought out the worst in her.

When she saw Maggie and Don together, she had always been reminded of herself and Brian.  Don was a good guy and he really cared for Maggie, but he couldn’t bring out the best in her the way that Jim did (the way that Mackenzie felt Will always brought out the best in herself).  That relationship was always doomed for failure.

“We ended up living together, towards the end,” she admitted.  Just like Don and Maggie.  “As though that would have somehow kept us together this time,” she added bitterly.

“You broke up a lot?” Doctor Habib gathered.

Will scoffed.  “Would you call every other week ‘a lot’?”

Mackenzie tsked and swatted his arm.  “It wasn’t every other week,” she told him.  “Only every other month.”

“And that’s only because Brian was away on assignment half the time,” Will added.  She frowned, turning her head to give him a curious look.  “I heard you complaining to one of the APs,” he explained nonchalantly.

“Were you dating Brian when the two of you met?” Doctor Habib asked. 

Mackenzie shook her head, knowing exactly the point in the relationship where she’d first met Will.  She and Brian had just broken up, again, over some ridiculous issue he had with her friend Erin, when that same friend (who had always hated Brian) had thrown her into the pathway of Will McAvoy.  She was working for one of the local networks at the time and Will was only really starting to make a name for himself as a news anchor at ACN, and they’d somehow found themselves debating the merits of capital punishment at one of those media meet and greets that are only about networking and free drinks. 

“We met at a party,” she said, although she was sure that Doctor Habib probably already knew that fact.  A small smile came to her lips as she remembered that first meeting.  “I told Will I could never date a Republican.”

She glanced towards Will, surprised to find that he was grinning in return.  “Which was obviously untrue,” he corroborated.

“Apparently your political views were not the obstacle I thought they were,” she shrugged, still keeping things light.  “Even though I completely disagree with you on the death penalty.”

“We agree on the important things,” he answered.  There was the same lightness to his tone as her own, but the words were still somehow deeply serious, implying something more.  He was right.  Where it mattered – where it was important – they’d always found middle ground, things that they could agree on.  As much as they fought, they always made up.  Never went to bed angry.

Except for that one time . . .

“I thought we were breaking up,” she said suddenly, regretting the words as soon as they left her mouth.  But she couldn’t take them back, and she had to keep going now that they were out there.  Had to keep explaining herself.

“We were fighting and it wasn’t a just little fight, and I thought for sure that we were going to break up,” she reiterated.  “And I got the call from Brian, and it seemed like a good way to get over you.  So I . . .

“I’m so sorry, Will,” she said, her voice pleading.  “I mean it.  And I’m not trying to excuse what I did, or put the blame onto you.  I just . . . that’s just what happened.”

“For four months?” Will asked her coolly, and she almost wished that he’d just exploded at her, like he did with the email.

She shook her head, knowing there was no explanation there.  The first time she’d gone to Brian made sense.  There was the fight and their almost break up, and Brian was just . . . there. 

After that it all got rather hazy.  To this date she’d never been able to understand why she had kept going to Brian behind Will’s back.  Why she’d degraded herself to be a booty call whenever Brian popped back into town.

“I don’t know,” she admitted weakly.  “Things were going so well for us and . . . I don’t know why I ruined that, Will,” she finished sadly.

“I’m sorry,” she said again.  It was the only thing that she could say.

“I think I understand,” Doctor Habib interjected, his voice cutting into what would have been a period of prolonged silence.  “You were feeling rejected,” he stated calmly.  “By Will.  And then suddenly Brian wanted you again, so you used him to feel better.

“And when it turned out that you and Will weren’t broken up, you felt guilty,” he stated and Mackenzie nodded her confirmation.  “Which is why you kept using Brian to make yourself feel better.”

“Is this supposed to make me feel better?” Will snarked, glaring at the doctor and then at her.

“No,” Doctor Habib replied.  “This is couples therapy, Will.  It’s not just about you.

“Mackenzie?” he prompted, looking to her for some insight.

“It makes sense,” she answered, albeit cautiously.  It felt a bit too much like Doctor Habib was trying to make excuses for her.  It was the best explanation she’d heard yet for why she’d continued to cheat on Will after the initial mistake, but not one that she entirely appreciated.  “It seems a stupid reason to do it,” she added.  “Feeling guilty about something, so doing more of that thing, which in turn makes you feel more guilty.”

“There are whole branches of psychiatry devoted to people doing stupid things to make themselves feel better,” Doctor Habib replied.  “What you described could be applied quite easily to someone with a drug or gambling dependency.”

Mackenzie shook her head and narrowed her eyes at him.  “Now you’re just making excuses,” she answered unhappily.  Will nodded along with her, which made her feel better than she would expect.

“I wasn’t _addicted_ to Brian,” she told him sternly.  “I wasn’t compelled.  I didn’t do anything against my will.

“It was my choice,” she concluded firmly.  “Admittedly a _really_ , really bad one.  But I’m not going to pretend it was anyone else’s fault but my own.”

“Except for the 2%,” Will put in, his voice holding a teasing note.

“The 2% is Brian’s fault,” she said, unsure of whether she’d made that clear at the time.  Will was 100% blameless in this whole thing and had done nothing but love her and be perfect and make her wish that she’d been better to him.

“Good,” Doctor Habib responded, closing his notebook with flourish.  “I think we’ve made some real progress here today.”

“We’re done?” Mackenzie asked, wondering where the hour had gone. 

Doctor Habib nodded.  “For today,” he reminded her.  “I’ll see you again next month.  You can make an appointment with my receptionist on your way out.”

He stood, bowing slightly at the waist.  “Until then, it was a pleasure to meet you, Mackenzie,” he told her with a warm smile.  “It’s good to finally have a face to the name.

She shook his hand, feeling a bit out of sorts as he gently, but efficiently, ushered them out of the room.

Lonny was waiting for them in the reception, flipping through a magazine with the easiness of a man who knew to expect a long wait.  They still had to make their next appointment, which was a mission all unto itself.  They’d had to cancel twice before they’d finally made it to today’s session, and Mackenzie still wasn’t happy about having to leave the newsroom in the middle of the day, even if Jim was more than capable of handling it.

“So what did you think?” Will eventually asked as Lonny drove them back to the AWM building.   They were both seated in the back seat as Lonny navigated through the busy lunchtime traffic.

She shrugged.  “He’s very young,” she offered.

“Graduated early,” Will answered.  “Apparently.”

She was silent for a moment or two, not knowing what to add to that.  Eventually she just cut to the chase.

“Do you think it’s going to work?” she asked him.

“It can’t hurt,” Will answered indifferently. 

“That’s not what I asked.”

He sighed and shook his head, like he knew there was no way out of this.

“I want to forgive you, Mac,” he told her, dropping his gaze from her.  “I’m just . . . I’m not there yet.”

“And this will help?” she asked again, still pushing for her answer.

“Jack thought it might,” he answered with a shrug.  “I don’t know what I was expecting today.  I guess I needed to hear you say it.”

She nodded, not needing to remind him of the million letters and voice mails she’d tried to send him over the two years they were separated.  He hadn’t been ready to hear it, not then.  And knowing her she would have probably said it wrong anyway.

“We’re going to be okay, Billy,” she said instead, smiling reassuringly.

They would be, she could see that.  Just not quite yet.

And she could live with that.

For now at least.

**Author's Note:**

> This will hopefully become a multi-chapter fic, but for now the first chapter is stand alone while I see if I can write the rest of it. Hope you liked it.


End file.
